How to Be More Me

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When we talk about nervous system regulation, we're really talking about learning to notice what is happening in your body before it takes over.

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Our bodies learn from what we've been through. Sometimes they learn to react quickly, stay on guard, shut down, get angry, worry, or expect something to go wrong. Those reactions can happen so fast that we respond before we've really had a chance to decide what we want to do.

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Regulation doesn't mean you never get upset, anxious, angry, frustrated, or overwhelmed.

It means you start noticing it sooner.

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You learn what your body feels like when you're getting worked up. You learn what helps you settle. And little by little, you get better at giving yourself enough space to decide what you want to do next.

That's a big part of why we use horses.

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A horse gives us a chance to practice this in the moment. Maybe you're getting frustrated because the horse isn't doing what you want. Maybe you're nervous about getting too close. Maybe you're trying too hard, moving too fast, or doubting yourself.

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We can slow it down and notice what's happening.

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What is my body doing right now?
Can I slow down?
Can I settle myself?
Can I try again?

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And when you practice that enough, it isn't only something you can do with a horse.

You begin to use it when you're frustrated with your child. When you disagree with your spouse. When you're anxious at school. When something doesn't go the way you expected. Or when life simply feels like too much.

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That's what nervous system regulation means to us: learning what's happening inside of me, learning how to calm my body, and giving myself a chance to choose what I do next.

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The more I can do that, the more I get to respond like me instead of just reacting to what is happening around me.